Something Rotten in Jefferson County

The county district attorney is in CYA (covah yo behind) mode. You decide.

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_15481366

These are the same people who brought you the 'Taj Mahal' in Golden, Colorado. It's heat signature would lead one to believe there is a nuclear reactor in the basement. Visionary for a cold climate.

Too bad, Mr. Wallace. Hopefully, those low-life undocumented Democrats won't get any sympathy at the American Comedic Liberties Union. Let us know if you need a legal defense fund. Vincent Bugliosi might be your man.

Never Enough Time

Never enough time to get it right the first time. Always plenty of time to do it over.

But what an awesome fix! And what a mess!

Back to Square One, Says Brotherly Leader

"We are not going to say 'We told you so,'" said Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gathafi yesterday in an exclusive interview. "We have welcomed our black African Kenyan as a brother and a light in the dark. But our worst fears have come to pass and we are back to square one now," Colonel al-Gathafi said.

"We had such high hopes, great respect for his vision, this new president, leader of America, elected by the people, perhaps the most powerful in the world today. We see him now as out of touch with the masses. Around the world people make fun of him. He has alienated the very people he promised to help," said Brother Leader al-Gathafi.

"Worse, he has ignited racist sentiment we had hoped he would put to rest. This is disaster! He seemed to be an intelligent man with a beautiful family. But we believe he has shown himself to be what some Americans call an 'uppity nigger.' This is not good. It is not good to speak of this, but we must face the political reality," said al-Gathafi.

"Look at this immigration, this border, this Mexican, this, this, this... drug war, these crimes against humanity in the name of freedom (INAUDIBLE). What has he done but make it worse?  Not only worse but he has set back the clock to the Dark Ages. We felt the Americans were making progress. The... what do you call it? Profiling? This must be some kind of Anglo-Saxon joke, no? Libya has lots of experience with immigration and we try to get the exiles, the refugees, those seeking asylum, infidels, aliens (INAUDIBLE) out of our country as quickly as possible. Get them to France, Italy, Spain... wherever, but get them out! They do not assimilate! They are our brothers, but they have no place here. We had nothing to do with it, of course, but the Italian government is paying the Libyan people, how do you call it? some big bucks? Big bucks to send these people back to their home country," said al-Gathafi.

"Mohammed wrote about this, even Jesus, and, and... (INAUDIBLE) Abraham spoke of people like these refugees. They are weak, so what? The world is full of weak people. We have enough to do taking care of our own people. If these people, out of ignorance, have made themselves unwelcome among their own countrymen, what can Libya do? Only prolong the agony? They need to return home and confront their tormentors. They cause only resentment in Europe, and the Libyan people will not tolerate them. What are we to do? Sacrifice our own common interest for these ne'er-do-wells, these, these...(INAUDIBLE) vermin?

"People have lost touch with reality and we are beginning to wonder what our black African Kenyan has on his mind," said Brotherly Leader al-Gathafi. "How do you say it? He has bought the farm? He has screwed the pooch? We only hear the talk, we do not know what these things mean, really. It's amazing how many people continue to believe he's a wonderful guy when his ignorance is so obvious. What an idiot! Ultra maroon!

"Speaking of incredibull, square one...whatever. We are a big fan of American baseball. It was dismal being in New York last fall, unable to go anywhere because of security. What kind of security is that?

"Anyway, we never met Steinbrenner, but, praise Allah! he was a giant among men. We are not so sure of his children. Our own children have done some incredibly stupid things. Of course, to us, they will always be children. But we don't think his family will be so successful. Like so many, they probably think they cannot fail. Look at the DeBartolo kid and the 49ers...

"We respect such great men. But we are Boston Red Sox fans," he said.

George Michael Steinbrenner, III

Requiescat in Pace

Profile This, My Negro

I'm only gonna say this once, "Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger."

There. Now, profile my ass. I'm sick of this two-faced crap, you bigot.

Remember what Chris Rock said about who's the biggest racist of them all? Then went on to say, "Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. Malcolm X was assassinated. Tupac and Biggie Smalls was just a couple 'a niggers got shot."?

You call me a white-boy, a cracker, a honky and tell me I can't profile. Hey, I've been profiling the universe since I was ten, esse! Now you spear-chuckers are telling me it's illegal. If I say a colored boy robbed me, is that profiling? If I say some white-trash mortar forker raped my girl friend, is that profiling? If I say them messkins ain't got no respect, is that profiling? If I say Islam ain't no friend of Jesus, is THAT profiling? Where's Richard Pryor when he is so desperately needed? Chris, tell 'em.

Let's get this straight, Mr. Black Man in the Justice Department, Mr. Holder, Mr. You Know What Yo' Mama Calls You; you, too, Skip; this is the United States of America. Get out your dictionary and look up the word 'state.' Because you is in a state 'a trouble. The Constitution is not to be construed as limiting any rights not enumerated. Period. Paragraph. You federal assholes have failed to stem the tide of vermin crossing our borders so now you're going to punish US for trying to compete on a playing field that ain't level?

Get outta town!

No Tears for the Champion

One reads about O'Buma and his cohorts extolling the federal privilege, the Swiss thumbing their noses freeing that prevert (sic) Polanski, disappearing Soviet spies, transforming schoolboy soccer into something interesting, ad nauseum.

Why do the pundits conntinue to ignore failure as the greatest teacher of all time? Is it because they never attempt any initiative big enough to kick their respective butts? Yet they perversely pretend to know all and see all.  And we pay money to read that crap while advertising executives pay the freight for the filler. Never mind.

At least the LA Times has been keeping up the straight dope on the race of kings. And remember what Eddy Merkcx said about winning The Tour, not to mention the doormouse.

Read the Times story about Sunday's stage:

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-tour-de-france-20100712,0,3180126.story

"When you're rolling around on the ground going 60 kilometers an hour," Armstrong said, "you know you're not going to feel the same. I just couldn't recover."

Johan Bruyneel, sports director for all of his Tour wins, said at the end of the stage, "Lance can't contend now."

Never Mind the Promised Land, It's the Playoffs!

LeBron who? Round ball? Never witnessed such hoopla. World Cup? Tour de France? MLB? LPGA? Stanley Cup? Formula 1?

Slow news day? O'Buma flappin' his lips? More civilians slaughtered by a stray drone in Afghanistan? Oil spewing unfettered in the Gulf of Mexico? Mushroom cloud in the Iranian desert? Wait! Consensus in the Iraqi Parliament! That's gotta be it.

For balding fat men, Pat Riley's hair and physique are to kill for. And while James and his buddies got the photo opportunities, the headlines, all the attention, it was, after all, about the Heat. Not your average hotness, Pat Riley's Miami Heat.

The guy is more than mere icon, he's a god. Ask Chris Rock. Spike Lee says the fix be in, but he never fails to be eloquent.

When veteran reporter Stephen A. Smith asserted two weeks ago that James, Wade and Bosh would unite in Miami, his report was widely dismissed as conjecture or fantasy, according to The New York Times. On Friday, LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade were dancing on a stage in Miami.

As illustration, why do assholes like Jerry Jones and Marc Cuban insult the sidelines with their presence? It's always an indication they're meddling in the coach's office. It's distracting to the players. You want the playoffs, jerk-off? Get back in the skybox.

But now it's clear why. They think they're Pat Riley!

I ain't tellin' ya' what you don't already know. Pat Riley's The Man. There it is.

Reason Suggests NATO, Obsolete, Be Dismantled

Who is kidding whom? The North Atlantic Treaty Organization made sense in the not-too-distant past. Like most good ideas, it has had its run. Time to collapse the tent and move on to a fresh group of suckers as P. T. Barnum would say.

More to come.

Kenyan Son Denounced, Disinherited

Response to Fluid Reality's invitation on behalf of our Brotherly Leader has been overwhelming. Boris has been burning the midnight oil reading email, sorting questions into some kind of order and forwarding them to the Colonel, who is as busy a man as one might expect for a renowned international leader.

Many questions relate to Brother Leader's view of President Barry O'Bama, also known reverently as FUBO, and his 'silent' war on illegal immigration. 'Colonel, what do you think of Japan's response to the Mexican vermin that, at first, were so readily welcomed to Japan as guest workers?' is typical of the immigration issues on people's minds. The Colonel's office has indicated he will entertain certain questions regarding immigration at his earliest convenience.

In the meantime, readers are encouraged to stock up on Brotherly Leader's Green Book and reflect upon jamahiriya and its implications for the oppressed and downtrodden workers of the world.

Brotherly Leader Pledges Revolutionary Assistance

By special arrangement in furtherance of his mission of world peace and direct democracy, the Brotherly Leader and Guide of the Revolution, Colonel Muammar Al-Gathafi will answer questions and offer advice to readers of Fluid Reality.

Asked why he would make himself available so openly, he cited his magnaminity and the opening of his own website as evidence of his commitment to the repressed peoples of the Western world. "I am an international leader, the dean of the Arab rulers, the king of kings of Africa and the imam of Muslims, and my international status does not allow me to descend to a lower level or do anything less for my peoples," he said.

Brother Leader suggests people acquaint themselves with his theory of jamahiriya,  his recent speeches, including last year's laconic address to the United Nations, at www.algathafi.org/  and his Green Book,  first published in 1975 and available at Amazon and other fine online retail establishments.

"I am saddened by the departure from American television of my good friend Larry King. His voice has been drowned out by those nattering nabobs on Fox and CNN and I will not be seen as participating in such foolishness. So, I have invited Larry to share my tent in Tripoli for a little R&R after Ramadan," he said in a recent interview. "The world is an increasingly dangerous place and people need an alternative to the lies of the Western press and the prevarications of the United Nations leadership," he said. "Why do you think China exposes their economic weaknesses in the London Times while complaining of steel prices in the United States?" he asked. "Do you think they expect people to believe that crap?"

So, ladies and gentlemen, you heard the man. Post your questions in the comment box below. Please limit yourselves to serious questions and refrain from personal attacks on the Brotherly Leader for his alleged crimes and terrorist activities.

Your Lips Move, But I Can't Hear What You're Saying

The fix is in. We're not going to be able to vote our way out of this one. Nobody wants to talk about it, anyway. Baby brother would rather talk about Gomez Addams than John Adams, not that I blame him, never mind.

I got pretty excited about Peggy Noonan, but it was about the stuff that got cut. Then there was that crap about the King James version of the bible, Anglicans, go figure, never mind. Where'd the headline writer get his idea about a cold man? What? Because he's dead? I still don't get it and I've been thinking about it all day. One of those journalism things where they test you on facts not in the story, no doubt. And I was in such a good mood.

Then I had the bright idea to rewrite the litany of injustice that was the king's doing. And just about all those guys who signed the Declaration of Independence got clipped one way or another. Where were all you skirts back then? Gun too heavy? Couldn't find a tree branch?

So I started a list of injustice to lay at the feet of the Congress, bless their rotten little hearts. It flowed like the Snake River in April. Now if I could just get this text to wrap around the next pictue, I would be happy. What do you expect? They don't call it push-button publishing for nothing. Push the button and it does what it wants, just like those assholes inside the beltway, never mind.

Happy Fourth of July! Hope the bastards where you live will sell you some fireworks. Otherwise, ask a friend in New Mexico or Wyoming to bring you some and shoot them off, anyway.

By the way, Mr. President, get stuffed! You and Skip Gates can drink yourselves silly on some fine British kerosene in the Rose Garden. And Dr. Gates, the report I just read said both you and Officer Barrett had an opportunity to ratchet down that confrontation at your house. Looks like you could have demonstrated your moral superiority to the white man, but missed it. I hate it when I miss it. Guess you missed In the Heat of the Night, too. Why aren't you hangin' with the loyalist bro' in Canada, celebrating diversity like a Hindu, or are you just not that kind of Negro? Maybe you and your pal O'Bummer will take etiquette lessons from Chris Rock.