Wiki, Wiki, Who's Got the Liki?

Does it strike anyone as strange that the messenger just got shot?

Oh, sure, Julian Assange is some kind of rapist. Just like Kobe Bryant.

Why all the interest all of sudden?

Why are we so surprised that Hamid Karzai is no Mr. Rogers?

Looks to me like ole Julian caught a bunch a people with their pants down and they decided to take him down.

It wasn't that long ago that the leak business was the province of mainstream media. Remember the Pentagon Papers, Washington Post, New York Times? I presume the Washington Post has been just as free with the leaked material as the New York Times. Nobody seems to be screaming about the coverage. It seems strange that the big newspapers have sidestepped doing their job while participating in the smear campaign of the guy who stepped up to the plate.

Let's see. There's a major campaign of cyber warfare against WikiLeaks. Then they get snubbed by the cyber community because their internet service providers and money changers are just a bunch of pussies in suits. Then somebody pays off these two hookers to say the WikiLeaks founder assaulted them. What else can we add to this pile of shit?

Chris Rock, where are you when we need you? This is great stuff here.

You mean to tell me that Hamid Karzai is just another warlord bad boy trying to hold it together with a bunch of ruffians and will use whatever money he can find to further his agenda?

What about Joe Biden, the Liki King? Surely he tipped somebody off about the diplomatic traffic. Isn't that what he does?

Did we cozy up to the Chinese to launch the denial-of-service attacks against the WikiLeaks infrastructure? Are the cyber warriors covering up the assault? How can the average Joe, unable to manage his personal computer, understand that cyber warfare even exists much less appreciate how sophisticated and widespread it has become?

Get ready to sit down with the Chinese and every hacker on the planet is after your cyber ass! What does that tell you? Don't forget the new Chinese fighter jets and aircraft carriers, by the way.

Looks like the ship is sinking and the finger-pointing has just begun. We got a tax cut to worry about. Never mind the sinking, we gotta raid the treasury to make the taxpayers think they're gonna be rescued. Call in the Somalian Navy, boys. Surely, we can depend upon them for some help.

Anybody paying attention to the rats?

Chris, help me out here! The stink is so bad is hard to tell where it's coming from.

What is truly disturbing is the impact of Political Correctness on Freedom of Speech. It looks like the former means 'just don't say ANYTHING' and the latter has been pushed aside.

They Shoot Whistleblowers, Don't They? could be the title of the movie about the demise of the American dream. Or should it be They Shoot Prophets, Don't They? Maybe They Shoot Patriots, Don't They? is closer to the truth.

Don't forget, we have young American men and women dying in Afghanistan while the REMFs are debating gay and leak policy. This ain't Denmark, but something's rotten.

Bring our people home, by God!

It's True Your Honor, Dumbitch Just One Word

Maybe in the case of your favorite female canine critter, the word bitch stands alone without an adjective or other modifier. But, just when I thought I had seen everything, along came Madeleine Pickens.

Today marks that day of infamy. Is this what our guys fought for? Did they die just so this idiot could take up space and practice being stupid in the name of the greater good?

Remember T. Boone Pickens? He's the poster boy for Gordon Gekko in the movie Wall Street.  He still thinks his greed is good for everybody and wants the feds to use taxpayer dough to advance his personal agenda for greater wealth. His wealth. "That's the one thing you have to remember about WASPs: they love animals and hate people," said Gekko.

I thought the world to be safe because Boone wouldn't be around much longer.

Along comes what's-her-name with a Pickens-esque plan to save the nation's wild mustangs. Of course, she expects the American taxpayer to cough up the bulk of the money. What does less than one percent of Boone's wealth mean to her? I'll bet she has one of those little yapper dogs, too! Whaddya think, Boone? Has she ever had a thought or did she steal that one brain cell from you?

Puhlease.

If there was ever proof that the intelligence of American women is high on the endangered list, this is it. Must be those hormones forging linkages in the brain that would forever remain dormant, otherwise.

Look at that getup. Looks like she think she's hot; maybe smarter than the rest of us. Check those stupid boots. You can tell by the shine she wears them everyday workin' them ponies she proclaims to love so dearly. Bet Boone would like to get his up. Looks like arrogance to me. Perfect photo for some of Salavador Dali's better work.

Spare us your misplaced sympathies, girl. Go back to the hairdresser where your shit is more likely to fly. You're the one in need of fencing lest you contaminate the rest of the gene pool. Put your head back under that heater and let that thing you call a brain cook a little longer.

Bring our people back from Afghanistan, by the way, and let those ragheads fight it out amongst themselves. Al Gathafi be praised. Let's all do something worthwhile today!

Consent of the Governed Smothered

The last death-rattle of the Pelosi Congress looks to be more spending.

Middle-class tax cuts, deficit-reduction tax increases, more unemployment benefits, reduced health-care for the military, where's any substantive reduction in handouts to the constituents? Will the censure of Charles Rangel finally save us from ourselves?

When did life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness disappear from the national debate? Did we really believe that ratification of the Constitutional Recipe for equality would take care of everything forever?

In the middle of the 18th century in America, the struggle between Loyalists and Revolutionaries came to the fore. The Loyalists were content with their handouts from the King, America exported her precious raw materials to England, and Americans purchased finished goods from England, courtesy of George III. Read the British version of this history and George will be exonerated. It was the cost of managing the colonies in America that caused the taxation that got the Patriots (Revolutionaries) upset. Golly gee!

Here it is holiday time 2010 and there are those Patriots yearning to be free of the burden of the handouts to the politically fortunate, now feeling righteously entitled to their piece of the public treasury.

As a nation, we seem to have lost any sense of duty to those 'yearning to breathe free.' More like a dedication to those 'yearning to get it for free.' Where is there any meaningful debate on a reduction in spending?

It would appear that our government has lost interest in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. What we have in stead is the pursuit of the special interest. When was the last time we heard anything about the common good?

What we hear instead is a bunch of rhetoric (read bullshit) about how unemployment benefits will get our fellow citizens back to work. How about some tax credits for companies that insource the work that is now done overseas? How about some teeth in our immigration laws to stop illegals from draining our local governments of cash?

The Declaration of Independence spells out the solution to this state of affairs in no uncertain terms:

...whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it...

The British Are Coming, the British Are Coming...

In Santa Barbara a couple of years ago, in conversation with a British tourist, I offered that the Brits had really screwed things up in Iraq. "Yes, probably so," he said. "But it's your problem now." He was right about that. We really stepped into it. All because the Bush people have a thing with the Saudis. Remember when it was just Arabia?

That British arrogance and use of the rod soiled the world is a given, unless one is some kind of  neo-colonialist Gordon Gekko weekend softtail wannabe. In America, certainly, King George III should be the most reviled villain of all-time with a monument to his crass ignorance at Faneuil Hall or on Staten Island. Never mind. The Commodore (Vanderbilt) would be pissed.

America has never broken free of her British past. The back halls are full of loyalists still, standing in line for their royal handouts. We claim free speech as our most important 'right' (read privilege instead) yet our journalists are at risk for speaking their minds or expressing themselves with their wallets. This is almost Stalinist. In other words and in the British tradition, "If you speak your mind, watch your back."

We think the Democrats have saved us from financial ruin. Brother, the ruin keeps on happening. Look at the Internation Monetary Fund's assessment of how much everybody has to borrow just to stay afloat. It's even worse than the old days when one could only borrow money by proving not to need it. Now the government insists that you can't borrow money from a bank because you have a good idea or have something going and need money to fend off the Chinese, or, Praise Allah, some Muslim street vendor from Venezuela. And the bankers are loving it.

Have you noticed that your credit card and checking account fees keep going up, especially if you screw up and bounce a check. Of course, you can sign up for overdraft protection for a fee and an usurious interest rate. How about a pound a flesh? Sorry, there's no ETF for white meat. ETF is exchange traded fund for those of you who actually own your home. The fix is in and part of the landscape.

In Victorian British society how one looked was important. Schizophrenics never had it so good. "How's old Duckface" she inquired. "Good form, not too mad," was the chivalrous reply. Inane conversation and thought was the order of the day. Wouldn't want to offend anyone a little higher on the food chain. One had to dress right so as not to appear to be prey. God spare your ass if you had an original thought. Best keep it to yourself and preserve the status quo. Wouldn't want anyone to think there's something better in life that self-imposed misery.

Native Americans referred to this two-faced, lilly-whiteman phenomenon of utter bullshit as the forked tongue. Make my pronuniciation Shakespearean, for emphasis. Fork Ed. And fork those REMFs in the back office making up all the stupid rules.

Take a look around. This may not be the America we think it is. Take it back? We're still giving it away, a little at a time. Next time you find yourself watching MSNBC or listening to NPR, change the channel. Better yet, turn the damn thing off. Boycott the advertisers, write a letter. Tell 'em what you you think!

Maybe the British are already here, masquerading as concerned stockholders of American banks telling our stupid president we need to borrow more money to stimulate an already-dead economy.

Congress Not The Problem

That elected body has never been worth a damn. Argument to follow.

The problem is the executive. Lying bastard's got more power than ever in the history of the United States and still trying to curry favor. The fucking weasel must be psychotic, utterly unable to get a handle on his own political situation.

Sorry to be the cold water, Ladies and Gentlemen, but we are still in as deep shit as ever. The Congress is but a means to an end and the President has to wield the hammer. Well, he's dropped the hammer and the nail is still sticking in our collective butt. We're giving away the store and nobody seems to notice. Check the numbers in the Journal today. Real unemployment (conveniently known as U6) is holding at 17%. Seventeen percent, goddammit! Wake the fuck up!

Bring our men and women home from the front lines today and put those REMFs in harm's way!

God bless you all.

American Dream Lives On

This gal holds the seat next to mine at Cowboy Stadium in Aralington (sic). My wife said I could keep the season tickets, but she was leaving. My choice. I sure am going to miss her curmudgeonly ultimatums.

I thought I was going to be missing Barney Frank and Harry Reid. Hell, even Nancy Pelosi got reelected! Nobody said democracy would be perfect. Yet, I was certain that hetero-basher would be shown the door, but then those people from Massatusetts ultimately will get what they truly deserve. Why they have to foist that old fart on the rest of us is a mystery. The casinos have been filling Harry Reid's pockets for some time now. No surprise in that, but there's still some serious trash taking up a Nevada seat in the U.S. Senate. Better to have well-known trash, I suppose.

The self-serving pseudo-humility escaping the mouths of Ms. Pelosi, as well as our so-called commander in chief, is nauseous. Clearly most of the former speaker's brains are stuffed in her blouse and Jimmy Carter can be forgiven his total ignorance in light of his love for mankind. However, that black man's cleverly disguised abuse of Marxist rhetoric is now out of the closet for all to see. He's well on his way to enjoying the company of Hugo Chavez and Mahmoud Ahmanutjob (sic) and, hopefully, well on his way to oblivion. Surely he must know he is perpetrating the big lie on the American people. That is, the bigger the lie, the more likely people are to believe it. Put on a tie, dammit. You're starting to look like one of those third-world fundamentalist assholes.


Maybe it's just a dream, but the American dream lives on as of this past Tuesday. The reality is messy, but it beats whatever is in second place. The dreams of those who yearn to breathe free are not everything, they are the only thing. Especially for fans of Vince Lombardi, or Emma Lazarus:

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Now that the trash has been taken out (mostly) it is time to incinerate the fill, landfill that is. We need to keep the Russians close and remind the Chinese that we ain't interested in their washing machines. We may applaud their economic and capitalist prowess while remaining adamant that Americans need jobs and exports. Never underestimate the Chinese desire for hegemony and domination.

We can no long tolerate budget deficits and trade deficits ad infinitum. We need corporate tax credits to bring production jobs back home and put America to work. Yes, free trade is a nice idea but not if we're selling the ranch to pay for it.

Adjust the tax burden, yes. Make sure the rich bastards pay a fair share but treat the golden goose with some respect. Do something about the alternative minimum tax, let families pass their farm and ranch lands to their children tax-free and make sure our farmers can make some decent money.

Don't forget, Mexicans and Muslims within our borders are not our friends. They do NOT assimilate and have no plans for such. We have almost 200 years of history with Mexico and almost 2000 with Islam. Memory is a wonderful thing, however painful it may prove to be on occasion. Remember, the pain reminds us we are still alive!

This is all doable. Tell those economists hiding in the rear echelon to move up front and work up a plan to accomplish what America's future generations require. Do it now!

And bring our men and women back from fighting the infidel with one hand behind their backs. God bless those bastards, but they can glow in the dark for all I care.

Stand up for America, you all!

Ipsa This!

It must have been the first episode of NYPD:Blue when Sippowitz does a Roseanne on the courthouse steps, making a snide comment to his future wife. At least now we can focus on what is really important. That being the doughnut.

That being said, regardless one's bent and whether or not you think this lady is a left-wing dingbat, remember that Tuesday is trash day (well, it is at my house). Take it outside!

That Little Faggit's Got an M-16

Season 4 of Boston Legal had Crane, Poole & Schmidt defending a gay general who had been dismissed after years of service. The general said he regretted not being more supportive of his gay son, also in the US Army.

Puhlease!


If you guys want to parade your tiny swinging dicks, do it on Main Street or Fifth Avenue. The rest of us have little interest in your preferences and proclivities and would rather you kept them to yourselves. Confront me with that thing and my only inclination is to cut it off.

Most gay guys I've had occasion to know seem distant, unwilling to engage me as a true friend. I find they prefer the company of other gays and liberal wusses. They also seem to have an aspect of despair about them and feign a lightness of being to cover it. Just an observation. I am just as happy to be wrong. Call me a homophobe if it makes you feel better. In fact, just call me, show me you're a real person. Or keep on ignoring me as you have in the past. UP yours!

The US Army is not a platform from which you guys should be proclaiming your differences, uniqueness, whatecver. It's embarassing. What's the matter with you? Praise God a higher court has overturned the injunction. If one of you should be willing march with me into battle, I will embrace you with open arms.

Should you wish to pursue a career as some kind of REMF and wear pink underwear while telling me how great it is, get outta town! As for you bull types, there is an abundance of hetero female types willing to take YOU on!

Take it somewhere else!

Bring the rest of our men and women home and let those infidels fight it out among THEMselves.

Find Jesus within yourself.

Pelosi Congress Sets Spending Records

Happy Tuesday, ladies and gentlemen. Amidst all the BS (not behavioral science) those Congressional scumbags have done us in. Check the Congressional Budget Office numbers from today's Journal:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703358504575544351734226956.html?mod=WSJ_hps_sections_opinion

Be sure to read how the feds have co-opted the private sector by sucking up the available capital and what the 'recovery' has cost so far. Not to mention, O'Bummer-care has yet to kick in and small business is wondering how much tax they will have to pay next year.

Will the REAL Nancy Pelosi please stand up!

We Made Him a Killer, Now We Owe Him

Nice looking fellow, yes? Handsome, all-American boy. No doubt about it. There's definitely some intensity in those eyes. His family is proud of him. Of that, we can be sure.

So, we, American society, lure him into the armed services with all kinds of inducements. The litany is long, illustrious and distinguished.

We train him to be a heartless killer. We forge his consciousness into the amygdala, a part of the lower brain sitting on top of the brain stem with superfast synapse chains for lighting-quick recognition and action. This guy can now see the world in Technicolor, Panavision, Super Slo-Mo. Get it? Wow! There are no second thoughts here. Simply recognition and action. Oh! Did I mention we trained him and equipped him to kill quickly and efficiently rather than flee the apparent danger? Never mind. Next, we put him in a war zone, not some live-fire exercise. Let's say an urban setting where the guys shooting at him look like everybody else, except they have automatic weapons and lots of ammunition and don't mind dying because of the seventy virgins waiting for them in heaven. And, oh yes, they were trained by the best tacticians in America! Finally, before we drop him off, we have some dirtbag lawyer in a uniform explain the incomprehensible and conflicting rules of engagement that specify when he can kill and when he's not supposed to. So now he's very well trained and very confused.

This is a story straight from the archives of In the Valley of Elah. That's where David took on Goliath, by the way. It's a story of madness created from ignorance in the minds of otherwise intelligent people who have never been to war and experienced the ultimate political tool. We have no meaningful or achievable agenda in Afghanistan. Whom are we kidding?

This young American cannot be held to the same standard as a senior officer, a physician in relative safety who walks in on a group of young men in their boxer shorts and opens fire. Each is in need of a different kind of help. One was in a position to help himself and chose a different path.

Sargeant Gibbs should never see the inside of a prison cell. The blood is on our hands and we cannot wash it away. Gibbs should be brought home and offered the kind of deprogramming and reprogramming he now desperately needs. We can do this for this young man. He didn't learn atrocity in America. He learned American atrocity in Afghanistan. No reason he should not live a productive life. How many men died and how many have suffered so that we can offer Calvin Gibbs the understanding and compassion he has earned and so richly deserves?

We need to bring the rest of them home, too.

It's Always Sunny in Massachusetts

There's light at the end of the tunnel in Brockton, Massachusetts. Check it out:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/28/education/28school.html?hpw

It seems this public high school has figured out how to teach our children to read and write. Guess what? No Voodoo! And it's one of the largest schools around, defying the popular wisdom.

Stand up and shout, people. This could be the cosmic breakthrough we have all been looking for.

Talkin' to the Hand

Ran across this picture today. Have learned to snatch them because they are usually gone in a heartbeat. But this guy from Alabama doesn't seem to have a care in the world as he stiff-arms the emergent Razorback. Doesn't seem fair, does it? The world seemed like a better place when Bear Bryant was around. Joe Namath's Crimson Tide after all, and a man of honour.

Who Let the Dogs Out?

This underline shit has got to stop. Editor has mind of his own today. Maybe we should cut his off. The blogmaster has fixed the editor and it's a little buggy. At least you're not seeing what I am.Anyway, from the looks of this gal, one should be able to hear her scream even in outer space.

Speechless in Sonoma

This would be a variation on mild suprise. For purposes of taste, only her hairdresser knows for sure. Rest assured, if it was there, you would see it. Pretty girl, huh? Nice blouse?

What about a Darwin probability for this one? Any ideas?

Careful Your Wishes

OK, enough is too much.

Enough of the everyday misery.

Enough of the idiots who think they are in charge.

Enough of those who wield power. May it eat them.

Back to the basics, I say. What's important should be important. That's all there is to it.

Now, this photograph is from a series called Lament.  Doesn't matter whose lament. The caption for this picture might be, 'I don't know, it was here a minute ago.'

This picture conveys a mild surprise at events (or non-events) while others express shock or disbelief. 'I was dreaming I was a girl and when I woke up, it was GONE! Brings P-word envy to a whole new level doncha' think? What do you think?

Gay Poster Boy Seeks US Green Card

Mormon Speak Spanish with Forked Tongue

This guy is Mark H. Willis, chief exec of the Deseret News in Utah, owned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

LDS, as the locals call it, has been recruiting Hispanics in its ongoing proseletyzing efforts in the U.S. and around the world. And the paper champions illegal immigrants arguing that deportation creates family terrorism.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the largely Mormon legislature is debating a zero-tolerance immigration law like Arizona's.

Hooaah. She loves me, she loves me not. The illegals believe the church is trying to soften them up so they will remain LDS even if deported.

Mr. Willes says that like Mormons, who fled the Midwest in the mid-19th century after failing to assimilate into society, undocumented immigrants know what it is like to be outcasts.

Failing to assimilate.  White man have creative, forked tongue. Those guys never made any attempt to assimilate. Fear and loathing they spawned with their atrocious treatment of women, known as polygamy but better described as white slavery.

The Hispanics have no assimilation plans either, so maybe they are destined for each other, the Latino and the LDS. Ostensibly, the Mormons have given up multiple wives though the bishops still make jokes about it. The practice was officially abandoned in 1890 but the fundamental bigotry remains clandestine. And the resentment remains. Make a comment about Mormon Christianity and the litany begins to sound like a Palestinian lament followed by a polite invitation to move somewhere else. In fact, newcomers get this invitation in conjunction with their introduction to the community.

Think LDS is savvy to the latest form of Montezuma's revenge? At least the Shoshone were smart enough to negotiate a treaty with the White Man before being decimated by the U.S. Cavalry. When the Mexicans find out what the Mormons are all about they may storm the Temple. Or maybe the illegals will like the refuge of a macho society. Perhaps LDS will develop a finer understanding of '¿Quien Vive?'

Darwinian Risks in the Labor Pool

She's 57, has a degree in bidness, got laid off four years ago, can't find a job.

Would you pay for this woman's health care? At least she admits she has spent her entire life in pursuit of security, having worked her way to the top of the class of the 'new unemployables.' She believes her atrophied computer skills cost her a recent job opportunity. Benjamin Franklin, stand up and take a bow.

Of all the remedial steps she has taken, her most astute was to cash out her $180-thousand IRA while taking an $80-thousand tax penalty. She lives in paradise with a killer view of Puget Sound while property taxes eat her lunch. Oh, did she mention anything about her weight-loss plan? What do you think will be on the mind of the 30-something Human Resource manager as she cajoles that carcass through the door?

Should the taxpayers assume the burden of people who used up all their get-out-of-jail-free cards in the previous century? When the going gets tough, the weak really do get screwed. How could God allow this to happen? Did God have anything to do with it? Free will's a bitch.

Still Struggling with the 20th Century

Dear Miss Vito,

So, I awoke in the hospital with very little memory of recent events.

I had just invested close to $10,000 in my truck. Of course, the dog thinks it's his truck. But the insurance I collected was Blue Book on a 1994 vehicle.

They kept me in the hospital a couple of days and when I got 'home' I was still in a daze. A recent acquaintance came to visit and I still don't remember having met him.

Then it hit me all at once that everything in my life was turned upside down. My truck is gone, my wife and daughters have invaded my refuge in the mountains, I am in debt up to my eyeballs again with an enormous, conspicuous house that is empty most of the time. It's embarassing. I love my wife but she looks like a stranger. She's on me to make a home out of this house. All I want is to move back into the hills with the dog.

Have I gone crazy with that bump on the head? I don't think my wife is out to get me. I was in the Air Force for twenty years. While I was flying Vietnam out of Guam she was living in Hawaii. Did she get spoiled and I not know about it?

Signed: Clifford in Wyoming

Miss Vito replies:

Clifford, how long did you say you were unconscious?

Let me get this straight. You're telling me you had this gorgeous refuge in the mountains that was all yours until your wife moved in and persuaded you to build a house with room for your daughters and their families, but the place is so remote they almost never show up. Then you got a crack on the head and everything seems different.

I'm reminded of the Right Stuff when Gus Grissom's wife realizes she's not going to the White House to chit-chat with Jacqueline Kennedy. She's convinced the Air Force owes her for all the time she suffered as a serviceman's wife.

Clifford, you may love this woman, but you have been railroaded into something you didn't want, led to believe it would be good for everybody. We should probably give your wife the benefit of the doubt and say her optimism overcame whatever common sense she might possess, rather than suggest she did this to get even.

I see this all the time. The twentieth-century woman is still struggling with the nineteenth century and is just not ready for the twenty-first. Call it hung-up, tangled-up or what-have-you, but most of us live in the past. I'm not saying men have enlightenment all to themselves because there's precious little of that going around, but the women still believe that they would be better off if they were more like the men. Equal pay for equal work. Except men don't carry babies and give birth, so what's to be equal?

Not that I'm letting the men off the hook, because we all want what somebody else has. That's only natural. To really believe it's important and to devote energy and time to finding happiness in one's possessions is just foolish.

And women are complete fools in this regard. Worse, they cannot be trusted. They will go out and buy a pair of white slacks that don't fit because 'everyone' is wearing them. If she asks you if they make her look fat, you better be quick with a good lie. Women are not rational. Their fluctuating chemical balance drives their entire reality. Ask a woman a question and the only thing you might learn is how she feels at the moment. I can assure you she will feel different tomorrow and different again the day after. If you refuse to give in to her whims she will cry and accuse you of being heartless and cruel. Don't fall for it!

But it looks like you fell for it and it took a near death experience to wake you up. I hope your recovery goes well. It may take some time to completely regain your equilibrium. I can understand your distress.

You have a couple of choices. You can endure this meaningless reality that has been foisted upon you. This will ensure your premature death. Women are good at convincing themselves that their men will get over it. But take a look at some of these guys and they look like they're dead already. Worse, they look like they have been beaten up. Guess what?

The only real choice is what I would call divorce, guerilla-style. Without saying anything to your wife, convert all your assets to cash and put the money somewhere no one can find it. Then you quitclaim your interest in the house (and the mortgage!) to your wife. Take the dog and back into the mountains, call the bank and say 'Kemo Sabe, I bought a boat, I'm headed out to sea!'

I just love Lyle Lovett, he is so clever with words.

The Woman You Love May Be Killing You

The following letter comes from Cliff in Wyoming.

Dear Miss Vito:

I loved your show and can understand why you put up with Vinny.

I was in a traffic accident a couple of weeks ago. I can't even remember what my wife and I were talking about at the time, but it had to be some kind of distraction. I was making a U-turn when my pickup got T-boned on the driver side by some little gal in a Land Cruiser. We both got citations from the Highway Patrol but I can't even remember why we were where we were, how we got there or where we were going.

When the paramedics arrived I was unconscious, sitting in a pool of blood from the wound in my forehead. They thought I was dead, but the docs in the ER revived me some 45 minutes later.

More to come...

Holder in Need of Some Restraint

The attorney general is out of control. Ain't got no sympathy wi'dat. Nor, do I have much time for this. Miss Vito calls.

Anyway, I watched Roger Clemens testify. I don't like the guy. All those guys are overpaid. So what?

But those guys in Congress are lying all the time. I don't like them, either, but they claim to be acting in my best interest. Guess what? There's this warm, wet stuff in my ears and it ain't rain, no matter what those assholes say. Mr. Holder, you prosecutin' the wrong guy. You a liar, too.

Amen. There it is.

Unstuck in Time, Feeling Lost?

Fret not, Fluid Reality offers the comfort of a tireless ear. The incomparable, the savvy, the resourceful Miss Mona Lisa Vito graciously offers counsel, wit and wisdom to her followers exclusively at this URL. Imagine your own good fortune.

It was hoped that our Brotherly Leader would be more available to share his perspective on all things personal and worldly, but he's so busy it's hard to get him on the phone. Even then, all he wants to do is practice his English and test the staff on their knowledge of the Quiran and Sharia law. Plus, it has been difficult finding Farsi interpreters with a sense of humor. He's weary of the sectarian strife in Iraq and the ongoing shenanigans of the Saudis, not to mention the Syrians. He offers his apologies but only's interested in translate Chris Rock's material into Farsi. That guy, what a sense of humor! He's promised to be more available when he's done with Bigger and Blacker. The Colonel has asked for help with the following quotations:

"Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!

and

"Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?"



Anyway, the inimitable Miss Vito brings to the table her vast knowledge of small-block Chevy's and Szechuan Chinese food. Talk about prerequisites. And she offers the perspective of generations of Puerto Rican Americans living in the Big Apple. Her beauty and experience will offer whatever salve sensitive souls require. So, please, keep those cards and letters coming.

Wait! This just in! Hot off the presses of the Wall Street Journal, Mr. Fouad Ajami, professor at Hopkins writes:

"Big as Reagan's mandate was, in two elections, the man was never bigger than his country. There was never narcissism or a bloated sense of personal destiny in him. He gloried in the country, and drew sustenance from its heroic deeds and its capacity for recovery. No political class rode with him to power anxious to lay its hands on the nation's treasure, eager to supplant the forces of the market with its own economic preferences."

There it is.

To Mosque, or Not to Mosque?

Silly raghead! Candy flavored breakfast cereal is for Americans!

Today's theme is educated folly. Michael Bloomberg's a smart guy, right? Even O'Bozo could lay claim to some kind of intelligence. Certainly has the pedigree. Did he check the box? The one guranteeing a free ride for bloodsucking minority scumbags?

In the grocery store yesterday, shopping for grillables. That's griyablahs, in case you think I use propane. Anyway, while looking at poultry it was impossible to ignore the comment coming from behind me. It was so inane, I did not turn to assess the speaker. Had to be a tourist. This is what she said, are you ready?

"We don't eat chicken. You know, the salmonella."

I'm just gonna' leave it at that. Oh, okay, it's the kind of mindless crap that falls from the mouths of politicians.

So, about that mosque at Ground Zero...

Remember Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb? It seems like a lot of Americans are Comfortably Dumb. I'm sure Mayor Bloomberg would like us to think his heart is in the right place. Forgive and forget, right? Let's extend the olive branch to those camel jockeys (Yes, Virginia, they can vote) to illustrate the fine qualities New Yorkers espouse.

Let's do a bell-shaped curve on the Muslim population. As the curve begins to rise, the degree of literacy begins to drop. Of the one billion Mulims in the world, ninety percent are unable to read or write. There are some Muslim scholars, and there are educated Muslims in America and other places, including Jerusalem. Fair enough.

But in the world, there are more illiterate sand niggers than there are Americans. Think about it.

America! The rest of the world is focused on survival! Only in the Land of the Free is there such abundance that we focus on Angelina and Brad. The have-nots have not the cultivated world view to work hard, educate their children and create a better community. They will gladly kill us, take what we have, trash it and call the process righteous Holy War!

Forgive and forget? I know some Jews, no offense, who do not forgive. They atone. I'm not saying these people represent Judaism. I know Christians who do not forgive. What I am saying is that Jews do not forget! Neither do Arabs, Iraqis, Afghanis, Persians, Koreans, Russians and Chinese. Whom have I left out?

I would argue forgiveness is about peace of mind. No need to trouble yourself over the uninsured illegal alien who just trashed the rear quarter of your new ride at Wal Mart. Shoot the son of a bitch, be done with it. God will forgive you if you repent. Relax.

Americans think the rest of world to be like themselves. Sorry, it ain't so. Palestinians (lots of Arabs, too) treat each other like shit and don't have a clue about being nice. Nice is what you be when you want your lies to be believed.

So, these nice, educated Muslim-Americans want to build a place where they can worship. Remember, the men and women worship separately, which is probably not a bad idea. But they call their place of worship a mosque which usually has what's called a minaret whence some fanatic begins a shrill prayer at sunrise for all to hear. These days they use the same amplifiers as Metallica. Fine. NIMBY.

How about a concert carillon and the Star-Spangled Banner? You listening, Roseanne? Those ragheads would probably let you grab your crotch and scream the call to prayer like a banshee any day you want. Not on your life. You must have a dick, not just be one.

So these are nice Muslims in the Big Apple. Shoot, you probably couldn't hear the muezzin for the taxicabs and jackhammers. Who cares?

But we are talking about a modern American holy of holies, where innocent people died because some third-world avenger thought a bomb in the garage was not enough. Remember the people who jumped to their deaths rather than eat fire. Remember, these dumbshit, illiterate, raghead motherfuckers don't give a damn about OUR children. That's all there is to it.

These same zombie terrorists will see a mosque at the World Trade Center as a monument to jihad, a symbol of their victory over the infidel. They don't have enough command of any language to have a sense of higher purpose, only what some rabble-rousing mullah pours into their ears. These people are the dregs of society, the bane of religious practice. It ain't fuckin' supernatural and they ain't fuckin' Sufis.

In my quiet moments, I would like nothing better than to shoot the lot of them. Build that mosque we might as well raise a Palestinian flag over the sacred site and have Drew Carey wave money and plane tickets on morning Al-Jazeera singing 'Come on down?' Brotherly Leader would be proud.

Get the picture? Start building that sacrilege in New York City and I best be hustlin' Timothy McVeigh out of stir to do what he does best. This ain't about picante sauce.

Enough with the mosque. Build it in Bedford where Brotherly Leader wanted to put up his tent. That would be a true monument to the ignorant, two-faced bigotry those lily-livered, lace-pants, white-ass New York, better-than-thou, godless motherfuckers practice behind closed doors, Mr. Mayor.

Remember Beirut. You can bet those Hamas shitbirds do! These guys in the photo remind me of Sauron's elite troops in Return of the King. I'm sure they sell the headbands and scarves from their website. Looks like the Paypal Salute!

Dog Days Heat Up

Gonna hafta research Dog Days. But it's been brutally hot here in Star Valley. The air conditioning is noisy and is killing whatever joy remains in my life. The only thing I have to look forward to is Muck Boots, the boot of choice among the hearty (hardy?). Check 'em out, new colors this year.

Something about the way the Aspen tree leaves glitter in the sunlight when there's a breeze. Never seen grass like this. First frost before the end of the month. 'Sposed to be ready for winter by Labor Day. Wanna be close to your ride; might have to dig to get there.

I feel truly alive. I have landline+DSL which is hog heaven compared to the RV lifestyle and make-believe wi-fi. Gotta come up with names for the gophers. Neighbor says he's been driving them my way.  They get a reprieve until next year.

Dreamt the old bar, the 'O', had been gutted and become lifeless, though full of expectant drunks. Should've known the 911 would be missing and the 'K' bike would be in parts, the Sled nowhere to be found. No ride. Christopher said what did I expect, he was only 16, but Eddie's mom knew where everything was. That was after Patty called and left a message. Musta' been the cookies after dinner.

I guess I have graduated from being a bandwidth hog, the latest affront to corporate profits in the liberal press. ATT in the Tetons is so slow there's not much to hog. Talk about the world wide wait. No 3G. I guess O'Bozo's still alive, criticising his critics. Oh, bite me! Now the Mexicans want BP to pay them 'cause they got laid off. One would think that, after all that trouble, that well in the Gulf of Mexico would be bringing home the black gold. Go figure.

Some tourists in line for the Darwin awards got toasted hiking in a thunderstorm in the Tetons. They explained that the weatherman said the storm would not arrive until 14:30 while they planned to be off the mountain by noon. One guy was off the mountain about 10:42. Burnt lips. First place goes to Mutha' Nātcha!

Something Rotten in Jefferson County

The county district attorney is in CYA (covah yo behind) mode. You decide.

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_15481366

These are the same people who brought you the 'Taj Mahal' in Golden, Colorado. It's heat signature would lead one to believe there is a nuclear reactor in the basement. Visionary for a cold climate.

Too bad, Mr. Wallace. Hopefully, those low-life undocumented Democrats won't get any sympathy at the American Comedic Liberties Union. Let us know if you need a legal defense fund. Vincent Bugliosi might be your man.

Never Enough Time

Never enough time to get it right the first time. Always plenty of time to do it over.

But what an awesome fix! And what a mess!

Back to Square One, Says Brotherly Leader

"We are not going to say 'We told you so,'" said Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gathafi yesterday in an exclusive interview. "We have welcomed our black African Kenyan as a brother and a light in the dark. But our worst fears have come to pass and we are back to square one now," Colonel al-Gathafi said.

"We had such high hopes, great respect for his vision, this new president, leader of America, elected by the people, perhaps the most powerful in the world today. We see him now as out of touch with the masses. Around the world people make fun of him. He has alienated the very people he promised to help," said Brother Leader al-Gathafi.

"Worse, he has ignited racist sentiment we had hoped he would put to rest. This is disaster! He seemed to be an intelligent man with a beautiful family. But we believe he has shown himself to be what some Americans call an 'uppity nigger.' This is not good. It is not good to speak of this, but we must face the political reality," said al-Gathafi.

"Look at this immigration, this border, this Mexican, this, this, this... drug war, these crimes against humanity in the name of freedom (INAUDIBLE). What has he done but make it worse?  Not only worse but he has set back the clock to the Dark Ages. We felt the Americans were making progress. The... what do you call it? Profiling? This must be some kind of Anglo-Saxon joke, no? Libya has lots of experience with immigration and we try to get the exiles, the refugees, those seeking asylum, infidels, aliens (INAUDIBLE) out of our country as quickly as possible. Get them to France, Italy, Spain... wherever, but get them out! They do not assimilate! They are our brothers, but they have no place here. We had nothing to do with it, of course, but the Italian government is paying the Libyan people, how do you call it? some big bucks? Big bucks to send these people back to their home country," said al-Gathafi.

"Mohammed wrote about this, even Jesus, and, and... (INAUDIBLE) Abraham spoke of people like these refugees. They are weak, so what? The world is full of weak people. We have enough to do taking care of our own people. If these people, out of ignorance, have made themselves unwelcome among their own countrymen, what can Libya do? Only prolong the agony? They need to return home and confront their tormentors. They cause only resentment in Europe, and the Libyan people will not tolerate them. What are we to do? Sacrifice our own common interest for these ne'er-do-wells, these, these...(INAUDIBLE) vermin?

"People have lost touch with reality and we are beginning to wonder what our black African Kenyan has on his mind," said Brotherly Leader al-Gathafi. "How do you say it? He has bought the farm? He has screwed the pooch? We only hear the talk, we do not know what these things mean, really. It's amazing how many people continue to believe he's a wonderful guy when his ignorance is so obvious. What an idiot! Ultra maroon!

"Speaking of incredibull, square one...whatever. We are a big fan of American baseball. It was dismal being in New York last fall, unable to go anywhere because of security. What kind of security is that?

"Anyway, we never met Steinbrenner, but, praise Allah! he was a giant among men. We are not so sure of his children. Our own children have done some incredibly stupid things. Of course, to us, they will always be children. But we don't think his family will be so successful. Like so many, they probably think they cannot fail. Look at the DeBartolo kid and the 49ers...

"We respect such great men. But we are Boston Red Sox fans," he said.

George Michael Steinbrenner, III

Requiescat in Pace

Profile This, My Negro

I'm only gonna say this once, "Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger."

There. Now, profile my ass. I'm sick of this two-faced crap, you bigot.

Remember what Chris Rock said about who's the biggest racist of them all? Then went on to say, "Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. Malcolm X was assassinated. Tupac and Biggie Smalls was just a couple 'a niggers got shot."?

You call me a white-boy, a cracker, a honky and tell me I can't profile. Hey, I've been profiling the universe since I was ten, esse! Now you spear-chuckers are telling me it's illegal. If I say a colored boy robbed me, is that profiling? If I say some white-trash mortar forker raped my girl friend, is that profiling? If I say them messkins ain't got no respect, is that profiling? If I say Islam ain't no friend of Jesus, is THAT profiling? Where's Richard Pryor when he is so desperately needed? Chris, tell 'em.

Let's get this straight, Mr. Black Man in the Justice Department, Mr. Holder, Mr. You Know What Yo' Mama Calls You; you, too, Skip; this is the United States of America. Get out your dictionary and look up the word 'state.' Because you is in a state 'a trouble. The Constitution is not to be construed as limiting any rights not enumerated. Period. Paragraph. You federal assholes have failed to stem the tide of vermin crossing our borders so now you're going to punish US for trying to compete on a playing field that ain't level?

Get outta town!

No Tears for the Champion

One reads about O'Buma and his cohorts extolling the federal privilege, the Swiss thumbing their noses freeing that prevert (sic) Polanski, disappearing Soviet spies, transforming schoolboy soccer into something interesting, ad nauseum.

Why do the pundits conntinue to ignore failure as the greatest teacher of all time? Is it because they never attempt any initiative big enough to kick their respective butts? Yet they perversely pretend to know all and see all.  And we pay money to read that crap while advertising executives pay the freight for the filler. Never mind.

At least the LA Times has been keeping up the straight dope on the race of kings. And remember what Eddy Merkcx said about winning The Tour, not to mention the doormouse.

Read the Times story about Sunday's stage:

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-tour-de-france-20100712,0,3180126.story

"When you're rolling around on the ground going 60 kilometers an hour," Armstrong said, "you know you're not going to feel the same. I just couldn't recover."

Johan Bruyneel, sports director for all of his Tour wins, said at the end of the stage, "Lance can't contend now."

Never Mind the Promised Land, It's the Playoffs!

LeBron who? Round ball? Never witnessed such hoopla. World Cup? Tour de France? MLB? LPGA? Stanley Cup? Formula 1?

Slow news day? O'Buma flappin' his lips? More civilians slaughtered by a stray drone in Afghanistan? Oil spewing unfettered in the Gulf of Mexico? Mushroom cloud in the Iranian desert? Wait! Consensus in the Iraqi Parliament! That's gotta be it.

For balding fat men, Pat Riley's hair and physique are to kill for. And while James and his buddies got the photo opportunities, the headlines, all the attention, it was, after all, about the Heat. Not your average hotness, Pat Riley's Miami Heat.

The guy is more than mere icon, he's a god. Ask Chris Rock. Spike Lee says the fix be in, but he never fails to be eloquent.

When veteran reporter Stephen A. Smith asserted two weeks ago that James, Wade and Bosh would unite in Miami, his report was widely dismissed as conjecture or fantasy, according to The New York Times. On Friday, LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade were dancing on a stage in Miami.

As illustration, why do assholes like Jerry Jones and Marc Cuban insult the sidelines with their presence? It's always an indication they're meddling in the coach's office. It's distracting to the players. You want the playoffs, jerk-off? Get back in the skybox.

But now it's clear why. They think they're Pat Riley!

I ain't tellin' ya' what you don't already know. Pat Riley's The Man. There it is.

Reason Suggests NATO, Obsolete, Be Dismantled

Who is kidding whom? The North Atlantic Treaty Organization made sense in the not-too-distant past. Like most good ideas, it has had its run. Time to collapse the tent and move on to a fresh group of suckers as P. T. Barnum would say.

More to come.

Kenyan Son Denounced, Disinherited

Response to Fluid Reality's invitation on behalf of our Brotherly Leader has been overwhelming. Boris has been burning the midnight oil reading email, sorting questions into some kind of order and forwarding them to the Colonel, who is as busy a man as one might expect for a renowned international leader.

Many questions relate to Brother Leader's view of President Barry O'Bama, also known reverently as FUBO, and his 'silent' war on illegal immigration. 'Colonel, what do you think of Japan's response to the Mexican vermin that, at first, were so readily welcomed to Japan as guest workers?' is typical of the immigration issues on people's minds. The Colonel's office has indicated he will entertain certain questions regarding immigration at his earliest convenience.

In the meantime, readers are encouraged to stock up on Brotherly Leader's Green Book and reflect upon jamahiriya and its implications for the oppressed and downtrodden workers of the world.

Brotherly Leader Pledges Revolutionary Assistance

By special arrangement in furtherance of his mission of world peace and direct democracy, the Brotherly Leader and Guide of the Revolution, Colonel Muammar Al-Gathafi will answer questions and offer advice to readers of Fluid Reality.

Asked why he would make himself available so openly, he cited his magnaminity and the opening of his own website as evidence of his commitment to the repressed peoples of the Western world. "I am an international leader, the dean of the Arab rulers, the king of kings of Africa and the imam of Muslims, and my international status does not allow me to descend to a lower level or do anything less for my peoples," he said.

Brother Leader suggests people acquaint themselves with his theory of jamahiriya,  his recent speeches, including last year's laconic address to the United Nations, at www.algathafi.org/  and his Green Book,  first published in 1975 and available at Amazon and other fine online retail establishments.

"I am saddened by the departure from American television of my good friend Larry King. His voice has been drowned out by those nattering nabobs on Fox and CNN and I will not be seen as participating in such foolishness. So, I have invited Larry to share my tent in Tripoli for a little R&R after Ramadan," he said in a recent interview. "The world is an increasingly dangerous place and people need an alternative to the lies of the Western press and the prevarications of the United Nations leadership," he said. "Why do you think China exposes their economic weaknesses in the London Times while complaining of steel prices in the United States?" he asked. "Do you think they expect people to believe that crap?"

So, ladies and gentlemen, you heard the man. Post your questions in the comment box below. Please limit yourselves to serious questions and refrain from personal attacks on the Brotherly Leader for his alleged crimes and terrorist activities.

Your Lips Move, But I Can't Hear What You're Saying

The fix is in. We're not going to be able to vote our way out of this one. Nobody wants to talk about it, anyway. Baby brother would rather talk about Gomez Addams than John Adams, not that I blame him, never mind.

I got pretty excited about Peggy Noonan, but it was about the stuff that got cut. Then there was that crap about the King James version of the bible, Anglicans, go figure, never mind. Where'd the headline writer get his idea about a cold man? What? Because he's dead? I still don't get it and I've been thinking about it all day. One of those journalism things where they test you on facts not in the story, no doubt. And I was in such a good mood.

Then I had the bright idea to rewrite the litany of injustice that was the king's doing. And just about all those guys who signed the Declaration of Independence got clipped one way or another. Where were all you skirts back then? Gun too heavy? Couldn't find a tree branch?

So I started a list of injustice to lay at the feet of the Congress, bless their rotten little hearts. It flowed like the Snake River in April. Now if I could just get this text to wrap around the next pictue, I would be happy. What do you expect? They don't call it push-button publishing for nothing. Push the button and it does what it wants, just like those assholes inside the beltway, never mind.

Happy Fourth of July! Hope the bastards where you live will sell you some fireworks. Otherwise, ask a friend in New Mexico or Wyoming to bring you some and shoot them off, anyway.

By the way, Mr. President, get stuffed! You and Skip Gates can drink yourselves silly on some fine British kerosene in the Rose Garden. And Dr. Gates, the report I just read said both you and Officer Barrett had an opportunity to ratchet down that confrontation at your house. Looks like you could have demonstrated your moral superiority to the white man, but missed it. I hate it when I miss it. Guess you missed In the Heat of the Night, too. Why aren't you hangin' with the loyalist bro' in Canada, celebrating diversity like a Hindu, or are you just not that kind of Negro? Maybe you and your pal O'Bummer will take etiquette lessons from Chris Rock.

Men in Black, Step Aside

The new hotness has arrived.

Nothing but good news everywhere.

No offense to Lynda Carter. She and Adam West were neck and neck in the competition for that aesthetic sensibility known as camp. Would you believe that word goes back to 1909? Would you believe...

The great thing about looking hot, being tough and leaving a good looking corpse is that one does not have to offer pretenses about intellectual capability, multitasking, equal rights or who be the first bitch to...

Not that I see a lot of television, but I will be interested in how she plays on The View. I'm ready for the movie, maybe something a little less dark than Batman. Forget the TV show. Straight to DVD, dude. Lot's of possibilities here. Gotta find the nearest comic book shop. Check the colors on that bad outFIT, Jim! She looks like the all-American girl reincarnated. Great stuff. Hard cheese, Barbie. Just the kind of modern day popular heroine to take us into new realms of adventure and death for all those megalomaniacs, infidels, powerbrokers and politicians. Notice I did not say corrupt politicians, Boy Wonder!

Now all we need is Father Guido Sarducci on Saturday Night Live to remind us how lucky we are. Let's hear it for Don Novello, ladies and gentlemen. Stand up for America. Fight, fight, fight!

My Day Be Made

It was five to four, but it's wonderful. The writer feels waxing poetically is the order of the day, but his poetry sucks. As witness to his prose how could the reader disagree?

Before I forget, let me add my two cents to the recently dead. When my uncle died years ago and I read his obituary, I did not recognize the person in the story.

"They're just questions, Leon. In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test, designed to provoke an emotional response... Shall we continue?

"Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... your mother."

Leon: "My mother? Let me tell you about my mother." Pulls gun, starts shooting. 

Deckard: Sushi. That's what my ex-wife called me - cold fish.
Gaff: Monsieur, azonnal kövessen engem, bitte!
[Deckard gestures to Sushi Master for translation]
Sushi Master: He say you under arrest, Mister Deckard.
Deckard: Got the wrong guy, pal.
Gaff: Lófaszt! Nehogy már! Te vagy a Blade Runner!
Sushi Master: He say you brade runner.
Deckard: Tell him I'm eating.
Gaff: Captain Bryant toka. Meni-o mae-yo.

Not that I had any love for Robert Byrd in the first place. He was a pompous blowhard when he was alive and should have retired long ago to make room for some new thinking. That the Democratic strategy has become more complex is just too awful to contemplate. My dad once remarked, "Capitol Hill is a hard-on that never goes down." Now the assholes reinvent themselves before our eyes and we forget who they really are. Even what's-her-name changed her tune before the Senate today. Which part was the lie?

Back to dancing in the streets...

It was as if the Constitution of the United States was written and adopted by the States in a vacuum. The Declaration of Independence (notice no spanglish translation here) has been largely ignored in the legal realm. Yet, the Supreme Court often weighs 'legislative intent' when picking nits. Why the founders' intent is ignored is preposterous. The Constitution became the prescription for achieving the values set forth in the Declaration. The two documents are inseparable in American history. Separation of church and state? Checks and balances? Probably a question of what people were drinking as opposed to what they were smoking. Not just then, but now. Yet these ideas are accepted as fact, taken out of context, arcane and detrimental to the health of the American nation.

For a sample of revisionist thinking, check the dissenting opinions regarding history and consensus. The problem has been consensus. Too many loyalists in the assemblies. Too bad they ALL didn't move to Canada.

Justice Stevens wrote, "[T]his is a quintessential area in which federalism ought to be allowed to flourish without this court's meddling." Out of the other side of his brain he wrote that he would have given more leeway to local government. How's does one reconcile those two thoughts? Is it local government, with nothing better to do, poisoning anything that might flourish? Or is it the heavy-handed federals fueling the frustration of the citizenry, subjugating states' rights to special interests? Check the 17th Amendment.

Hopefully, the meddling is over. There's a never-ending messy (at best) debate about what a militia might be and what well-regulated might mean. Necessary to the security of a free state might mean without or within. It can be argued that the right is qualified or justified by the introductory clause. Read the Declaration, it's clear. Finally, the right "shall not be infringed." Where's the ambiguity? Is there some difficulty with the earth's gravitational field? Heavy.

George Mason, champion of the Bill of Rights said in 1787, "I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people except for a few public officials."

Finally, and maybe this is what really scares people, “The Bill of Rights is a born rebel. It reeks with sedition. In every clause it shakes its fist in the face of constituted authority... it is the one guaranty of human freedom to the American people,” wrote Frank Irving Cobb, an American journalist not as well known as Joseph Pulitzer.

Let's celebrate! Something wonderful has happened here and we should all be grateful. The upcoming Fourth of July should find us dancing on the mall. Only wish there was time to get there. Party on! Light out of darkness. Have a wonderful day.

Lest they be forgotten, let's bring our men and women home from their service overseas so we can celebrate together.

Celebrating the ready availability of fireworks in Lincoln County, Wyoming, I asked a local retailer while he stocked his shelves, "I guess it's illegal to shoot fireworks in the city limits?" He said, "Yeah, the only time fireworks are allowed in the city limits is from July 1 to July 11. You can shoot 'em off outside the city limits anytime." Sign me up.

This Fat Lady Don't Sing

Why is this woman smiling?

The nomination hearings in the Senate will be a joke. Ever since the Robert Bork experience, anybody who has been summoned to appear before the U.S. Senate is certain to study and practice the Artful Dodge. To which senators respond with artful posturing and self-aggrandizement. Should be an extraordinary snoozer on C-SPAN. How can anyone take this kind of charade seriously anymore? The Republicans will try to look tough, the Democrats will try to look self-righteous. The woman will be confirmed and the pundits will have a field day with meaningless minutiae.

She is simply not qualified. She has no experience on the bench and, therefore, lacks the acumen to separate her personal bias from what should be the common good.

Her biases are quite clear and dangerous. Plenty has been written elsewhere.

Again, why is she smiling?

Could it be she knows she's being handed the opportunity of at least a hundred lifetimes and can cruise easy street for the duration? Or is she simply clueless? The taxpayers get to endure it. She gets to skate.

America’s General, Afghanistan’s Friend

Letter to The New York Times by Khoshal Sadat published June 27, 2010

Kabul, Afghanistan

I serve my country, Afghanistan, in uniform, as did my father and his father before him. I have known many military officers, but not one who better represents what soldiers stand for — honor, sacrifice and courage — than General Stanley McChrystal, who until last week was the commander of American and NATO forces here.

During my time as the general’s aide-de-camp, what struck me was how much he cared about what others thought and what they felt, even the most junior person in the room — which was, more often than not, me. We were frequently visited by some of the most important American and international leaders, and whenever they questioned the general about Afghanistan, he would always turn to me and say, “Let’s ask an Afghan.”

I was so proud, as an Afghan, to serve under this General McChrystal. Let me tell you why:

I was 13 when I came to hate the Taliban and knew that someday I would have to fight them. A woman who lived on our street was walking home, with her baby in one arm and her shopping in the other. Her little daughter was close behind, holding on to her mother’s covering. My neighbor was having difficulty walking because of the mud and lifted her burqa for just a moment so she could see better how to cross the road. Taliban members ran up from behind and began to beat her head and back with a long length of thick, metal cable. I watched as she dropped her own baby in the ditch and screamed from the pain.

It was many years until American forces came here and when they did, I remember my teacher telling our class this was a good thing, that now there was hope for Afghanistan.

After nine long years of war, General McChrystal once again revived that feeling of hope in Afghans. He made the war about protecting the people and gave us the strength to fight. The general has always been a man of his word and quickly earned our absolute respect. He became a hero to us. In a country with a long history of great men, he became one of them. He became one of us.

General McChrystal represents, to me, what is best about Americans. He is strong and determined but also gracious, courteous and compassionate in every circumstance and situation. When he would walk in the markets or visit our villages he would listen to Afghans and respect their traditions and customs. When speaking with young soldiers he would make them so proud of their duty.

Those of us who had the highest privilege to work on his staff were given great responsibility, and great trust. He was especially generous with his trust.

I never had the opportunity to say goodbye to General McChrystal. I hope he will return when there is peace in Afghanistan, because he will be the father of that peace.

Khoshal Sadat, an officer in the Afghan Special Forces, was an aide-de-camp to General Stanley McChrystal from February until last week.

Fat Lady Sings for O'Bummer

President Shoots Self in Foot

VP Douses Ashes with Leak

Opium Futures Up Sharply

Hilary Decries Chauvinism

Eikenberry says 'Told You So'


Sun Tzu’s basic military premise turns on the perception of moral superiority. If an enemy’s sense of its own moral supremacy is unshakable, war with that enemy is too costly to consider. An alliance is a preferred solution to a relentless siege and likely bankruptcy for the attacker. On the enemy’s home turf? Remember Tora Bora?

Mr. President, are those your lips moving? You say it’s raining?

The Muslim now sees America divided, unable to stand. Hamid Karzai saw the handwriting on the wall and said so. Americans say he and his warlords are corrupt, never mind. Wake up. The suits had General McChrystal so hamstrung with rules of engagement no wonder the ridicule common among his staff. Given the intracacies of feminine logic, no doubt the skirts want a shot at it. Come on, Peggy Noonan. What’s good for the Vatican must be good for the US Army, right?

The US ambassador to Afghanistan, Karl W. Eikenberry was so busy whacking at McChrystal's cojones he forgot about his own. The former general should know better. His place in history assured, right up there with Pyrrhus. Remember Pyrrhus? Anyone? Anyone? Miss Hilary, muzzle your dog. What motivated him to begin bad-mouthing the military strategy as soon as Karzai was elected? Where was he before the elections in Afghanistan?

Once again, the enemy is emboldened by the obvious weakness of the opponent - the politicians, the bureaucrats, the rear echelon military cowards, the demoagogues masquerading as ‘the media’, all incapable of anything but criticizing each other.

So, it’s over. We all saw it on television. The morale of the American soldier, already at a nadir, has been squashed by that ignorant, arrogant fool called commander in-chief. No doubt Michelle and mama-in-law have the inside scoop on his command.

The people of Afghanistan, the country, the civilization has never been conquered. Never. It’s clear to everybody we do not have the belly for it. The locals no longer trust us and hedge their allegiances, withholding the key human intelligence required to engage an enemy trained by Americans in the latest American guerilla tactics.

It’s over. There is nothing to be won. The ‘terrorists’ fade into the Hindu Kush like Brer Rabbit in the Briar Patch. The territory cannot be conquered by a modern army. Regular warfare is out of the question. The kingpins hide in friendly, politically unassailable territory.

The only available tactic is to reach out and touch the renegades in an unequivocal manner. Mossad knows how to do it. One can only imagine the kind of ‘persuasion’ used by those ragheads to find out about the assassination in Dubai. Notice how the hit squad is long gone, the target elminated. The posturing on C-SPAN will be revolting. Like Mexican scrambled eggs. Revueltos. Execrable.

No winners, no losers, no heroes, no villains, only casualties.

Unfortunately, there is always a half-soldier, half-politician who will take any job the commander has in mind, knowing the commander can always find some other half-wit to take the job. This one is unwinnable. So, Petraeus will further his own interests, able to blame his ultimate failure on some one, or some thing, else.  What choices has he?

There is no definable enemy in the traditional sense. Petraeus can preside over some phantom strategic plan that looks good in Power Point, but will amount to little more than people running around in the desert shooting at anything that moves. Then he can retire and write a book saying he didn’t understand the enemy until now. By then, maybe the public will tire of the same old song.

McChrystal is the only one with a shot at a best-seller

Is that a new rug you’re wearing, General Petraeus?

HNIC Struts Stuff

Eddie Murphy has declared the word obsolete. For the right stuff, review Lean on Me with Morgan Freeman. You won't find a picture of the HNIC here, nor his buffoon of a sidekick. The movie was made Before Political Correctness. Please adjust your calendars accordingly.

Will Petraeus Betray Us? Please keep those cards and letters coming.

The following is being circulated as the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term - political correctness. The winner  is said to have written:    

Political correctness  is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical 

minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which 

holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by 

the clean end.

Bring our men and women in uniform home!

Doing the Impossible for the Ungrateful

The war on terror has become even more insane than the war on drugs. Pretty soon we shall have a war on math scores. We already have a war on American history. Not to mention the war on the American people being conducted in the White House.

General Stanley McChrystal looks like one of the smarter guys around. He probably took the job in Afghanistan because he knew somebody would, regardless how mad the plan might be. A truly likable guy. Probably thought Rolling Stone would at least give him a fair shake. After all, look at the publicity machines behind guys like Theodore Roosevelt and Douglas MacArthur. Roosevelt weren't no Big Kahuna and MacArthur's arrogance nearly got everybody killed at Leyte Gulf. He should've stayed in the Philippines with his men. Alexander or Attila would never have abandoned their men. And Attila was called a barbarian. Turns out he spoke Greek and Latin, as well as, his native tongue. Alexander let Darius escape rather than lose his general, Paremenio, at Issus.

American fighting men have survived, to their horror, fiasco after fiasco orchestrated by power-hungry, lily-livered REMF (that's rear echelon) incompetents like Robert McNamara and William Westmoreland, and now, Barack Hussein Obama, Joseph Biden and their cronies.

Stan the Man is now going to get his early retirement. Beer in the Rose Garden, anyone? No doubt David, with one hand tied behind his back, would have had difficulty with Goliath. God help us all.

Bring those men and women home from Afghanistan NOW, dammit!

Point, Blame, Punish, Absolve Self

I could work this one to death. The popular press is feeding the frenzy of outrage at the Federal Reserve, BP, the private sector, you name it. Instead of the government, the government, the government. Did I mention the government? People were criticizing what they didn't understand fifty years ago.

Talked to Mom today. She said the local BP station had closed down. 'Course I had to  say, 'Mom! How they gonna' pay for the cleanup if they go outta bidness?' It's like that old saying, 'We found out most accidents occur within 25 miles of home, so we moved.'

Peggy Noonan says O'Bummer is 'snakebit.' Which means the dumbass cain't do shit. Ooahh can mean different things depending upon how it's pronounced. It can be a polite form of 'Duh! What were you thinking, numbnuts?' I'm beginning to like Peggy more and more. Snakebit. Think about it. There's no way to get 'unsnakebit.' Once bit, it don't go away. High desert logic. Take it however you wish. There it is.

If I shoot the neighbor's dog cause they trained it to shit on my lawn, it's 'Animal Cruelty.' Ten thousand-dollar fine, one year in jail. Almost worth tossing that Bichon Frisé into traffic.  Where's the cruelty? The mutt died instantly!

Now what about Ronnie Lee?

OK, he's guilty as hell, no question. He says he did it. Buncha people saw it. I believe I would choose a bullet over lethal injection, had I the choice. We know what it's like to get shot. What we don't know is what it's like to get shot up. Besides, it makes killers out of all involved. The unconcerned can distance and absolve themselves, relieved that it's over. Well it ain't over, dammit! Not for those that carry out the execution. Those men and women coming back from Iraq won't talk about the killing except among themselves. What does that tell you? And what about the next time? What if we shoot the wrong guy?

At his commutation hearing, Mr. Gardner wept after telling the board that his attempts to apologize to the  families of his victims had been unsuccessful. He said he hoped for forgiveness. "If someone hates me for 20 years, it's going to affect them," he said. "I know killing me is going to hurt them just as bad. It's something you have to live with every day. You can't get away from it. I've been on the other side of the gun. I know."

Is forgiveness still not part of the paradigm?

I have been considering asking my friend, the esteemed Colonel Quatafi, to write an advice column for this blogspot. I like him because he didn't promote himself to general, and he brings his own translator. Plus, he wears cool outfits. Reminds me of Jimi Hendrix and the taste of wild hickory nuts. Whaddya think?

Bring our people home! Please.

There is No Pain, You Are Receding

What makes reality fluid is that one will see whatever one wishes to see. What one wishes to see or what one thinks one is seeing will color, alter and shape the current perception. Later, one has the option of changing one's mind and the view changes again. One can attach whatever emotion one desires and change the experience. Serious, dramatic or traumatic experiences are much more difficult to alter, of course. Combatants returning from Iraq and Afghanistan bear witness.

Home of the Brave, Hurt Locker, The Valley of Elah are motion pictures depicting the changing realities of people christened by battle in gratuitous American wars beset with mind-numbing ambiguity.

The posts here are snapshots of realities different from those in the popular press, attempting to illustrate how complex are those realities. After all, what do any of us know? What we think we see is bound up in belief structure. The reality becomes fluid and changes as we gaze about the landscape and focus on one snapshot or another. Most of us remain focused on that one snapshot and experience, that one reality, believing it to be the only relevant or commanding point of view, unable to see the picture from another perspective.

I tried to explain to people that, as I went about my information gathering chores, I ran across all kinds of fixed realities that are difficult to reconcile. The work here represents a safety valve for excess angst shouldered in the process of looking about. It's an effort to channel the rage into reasonably polite language when the overwhelming desire is to shout obscenity and put a bullet into the offensive character. I realize I have no currency in the public realm, no cachet, so my words have little credibility for most people. Some disingenuous influences in my circle of acquaintances have revealed themselves. That's always beneficial, regardless how painful the letting go or difficult the release of any lingering resentment.

I have covered the gamut of the failure of reason in the post-modern era as it has presented itself in the last week or so, if to the point of obsession. I could keep it up, but it would become a never-ending lament in the wilderness. The lack of fluidity is that I have started to become this weblog reality, much as I would like to think it might make some difference in the world. Never mind that America appears to be retreating into a Dark Age, substituting rationality for reason, democracy becoming the latest version of despotism, naturally enough.

So, in order to maintain my own fluidity, I am done. Oh, one last tidbit. Henri Paul, security chief at the Ritz Hotel in Paris, used his passkey to gather information on hotel guests and sell it to the paparazzi. Particularly valuable was the intinerary of Lady Diana and Dodi al-Fayed. And Henri was drunk most of the time.

There is no pain you are receding,

A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.

You are only coming through in waves.

When I was a child I had a fever.

Now I've got that feeling once again

I can't explain, you would not understand.

The child is grown, the dream is gone.

I could have become comfortably numb.

Nobody sings it like Van Morrison. Copyright, I'm sure, Pink Fred. Don't know if I can read much more Cormac McCarthy right now.

Bring our men and women home, dammit!